Inception

Does anyone else ever feel like they are living in inception?  As they gradually age over time, the deja vu's of a matrix no longer make complete sense.  The more "wisdom" you gain the more a belief turns to hope.

I would have never expected my 26 year old life to turn out the way it did, unsure about a future when before it felt so certain.  The greatest thing to ever happen to my life is have Jordyn as my wife.  She is the only think that keep's me sane I suppose.

Yesterday Miles killed himself I guess.  I don't really know the story.  He used to train at my jiu jitsu gym til he died.  I heard he had an argument with his girlfriend or something.  It doesn't really make sense to me.  I remember him vaguely from high school.  He was my sister's age.  He went to school at SUU and played football.  I'm kinda sad he died cause I kept replaying in my mind I was gonna get him in a toe fold this next month.  When I rolled with him at class he always whooped me.  I would guess he was at least 270 lbs or so.  In class he seemed to have his shit together.  Guess not.  Guess no one ever really does.

The thing I dislike the most are the lies we have been told our whole life.  It started in school and church.  Although I believe in God, I think my hope in God is stronger.  As I see the World in a giant combustion chamber ready to self destruct, my hope in God and my wife are what keep me sane.

High School was a big part of most American's life.  Each person having a different experience through the public education system and each person be programmed to be slaves to a market of derivatives.  How is it possible for banks to rob from the human citizens that make the system of humanity run?

Jordyn asked why I started this blog, because I regularly blog on The B Side To The Truth.   Well, here I wanted to express my doubt thoughts.  I think it is good to get your doubts out and put your surety's in.  I see everyone running along the rat race trail, even myself, even Robert Kiyosaki.  Maybe it's just the way I view the world.  Have I created such a world from my delusion of inception that I have actually confused myself more than if I let the World program me?  No that can't be possible.

I would do it all again.  I would lose my sanity over and over again to know that it was me that made the decisions and not the super powers that controlled my life.  I would rather them kill me and live my conscience than allow them to tell me how to do things.

The problem I face, is life is a game to exist within the system of humanity.  The next problem is I'm good at it.  The next problem is I love it.  I love to see how people are, how they react, how they live.  I love to learn from others and their experience.  The problem is this... I get so into it I forget to sit back and enjoy the ride sometimes.  That is why I love traveling.  It is nothing but purely enjoying the ride.

Well I'm done for today. 

Colton